Psalm 143
1O Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief.
2Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.
3The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead.
4So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.
5I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.
6I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
7Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
8Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
9Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord,
for I hide myself in you.
10Teach me to do your will, for you are my God;
may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.
11For your name's sake, O Lord, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
12In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy my foes, for I am your servant.
This chapter describes how I've been feeling lately. "The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead. So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed" Psalm 143:3-4. These days I have been struggling immensely with finding joy in my life. At work I sit in my office by myself, not talking to my friends, I'm quiet at home and I don't talk with my family much.
I feel pursued and crushed by the enemy. The enemy in my life can be described as stress at work and a deep desire for God to bless us with a baby. Waiting is so hard, but verse eight reminds me, to "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." God's love is unfailing. As much as I know that God never fails and I should trust him, I don't always believe.
He's proven that's he trustworthy over and over; I need to remember and meditate on those times. Verse five talks about remembering all that God has done before. Whether it's the things He's done in Scripture or the things He's done for me. "I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done." Our pastor calls it preaching to to ourselves, and that's what I must do.
Yes, I feel crushed, covered in darkness, dead, dismayed, faint... Yet, "In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant." I am His and He will hear my prayer.